JimmyDew Jokes!
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"Dad, did you get a haircut?" "No, I got them all cut!"
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"My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!"
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"How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut."
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"Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up."
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"I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something."
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"What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows."
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"Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!"
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"Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired."
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"Dad, can you put my shoes on?" "No, I don't think they'll fit me."
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"Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot."
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"This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in."
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"Dad, can you put the cat out?" "I didn't know it was on fire."
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"What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y."
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"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles."
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"Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field."
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"I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless."
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"How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!"
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"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!"
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"Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the 'no-bell' prize."
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"I've got a great joke about construction, but I'm still working on it."
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"I used to hate facial hair...but then it grew on me."
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"I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust!"
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"I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I've never looked back since."
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"You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine."
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"What's brown and sticky? A stick."
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"Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? Because the 'P' is silent."
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"What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant."
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"What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk."